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Thursday, February 26, 2015

The Queen of Tights vs The Baroness

The Queen of Tights vs. The Baroness

The characters in this video are Baroness Helga,  and Carol Ann, The Queen of Tights, played, of course, by Sybil.
The video opens showing only Helga, who is dressed in a black, military-style outfit, with shiny black tights and high heels.
Showing her sitting down, her legs crossed, we see Helga on a cellphone.
"Yes, Baron, everything is finished. Thanks to the money we robbed from that silly American bank I am now wearing my new, super-powered German black fighting tights that will give me the strength and power to be the world's greatest catfighter. Women all across the world will bow before the strength and beauty of me and my Valkyries. With these tights I will crush any women who dares to stand in our way. The Motherland will rule supreme once again thanks to my tights."
Off screen, we hear "Motherland? Get real sister. If you're looking for the world's best fighting tights and fighting women, it's Michigan in the good old U.S. of A. where you'll find them."
Helga then says into the phone, "I have a slight matter to deal with here. I will call you right back," as she hangs up and puts it down.
She stands up, looks off camera and says, "Who are you and how dare you enter my fortress."
Now the camera cuts, it begins at the feet and pans up. It shows The Queen in her red high heels, ruby red fighting tights, and an American flag bikini instead of her trademark Ninja Queen outfit.
She has her hands on her hips and confidently replies, "I'm Carol Ann. The Queen of Tights. The CIA has asked me to put your operation out of business once and for all."
Helga starts to laugh and says, "You, a puny American with those pitiful tights and ugly legs, are going to stop the world's sexiest catfighter and her Valkyries? Oh that is so funny!"
"Valkyries? Are they all those blondes dressed in black tights I met downstairs?" The Queen says.
"Yes," a curious Helga says.
A taunting Queen then says, "Oh yes, they were all in black when I came in and now they're black and blue and unconscious, piled together with their ripped tights in your gym."
"What?" Helga screams.
"And you can join them," The Queen continues, "unless you decide to decide to surrender and come along peacefully, sparring yourself a humiliating ass kicking."
Helga starts to laugh again, and says "You are going to kick my ass! My super-toned German ass?"
The Queen says, "I'm going to kick your fat ass, destroy those rags you call tights and leave you in so much pain that while you spend the next 10 years in jail you'll never even think of fighting an American woman again."
A stern Helga replies, "Do you dare to battle me in Karate, you American slut?"
The Queen says, "I thought you'd never ask."
The women then bow and for the next 30 seconds exchange karate chops. Helga then hits Carol Ann in the neck, knocking her down.
Laughing over her sprawled foe, Helga cackles, "I can't believe An American Queen with those feeble legs would think she could beat a regal German Baroness and her magnificent legs."
The Queen then gets up and says, "In America we generally wait until the fight is over to laugh, Baroness."
Helga charges The Queen, but this time Carol Ann blocks several blows and when Helga swings and misses at the The Queen, Carol chops her in the neck. Then she pours it on with several unanswered blows that floors The Baroness.
The Baroness hits the ground and her eyes shut.
Standing over her, hands on hips, The Queen says "My how the mighty have fallen."
Carol Ann then walks over puts her leg on The Baroness' chest and counts to 10.
She then kicks her on her side as the Baroness rolls away.
"Your karate sucks Broomhilda," The Queen says.
Helga gets up and says "The name's Baroness and I'm better at wrestling."
Helga charges at The Queen and they lock hands for a test of strength. Helga wins the test of strength and begins to cackle in delight. She starts to overpower The Queen, she attacks her legs and puts her in a couple of scissors.
She wraps up the Queen for a pin, but can only get to two before The Queen gets out.
Then she puts The Queen in a camel clutch and demands "Will you surrender."
"Not to a miserable cunt like you," The Queen replies. The Queen breaks out of the hold and dominates the Baroness. She tortures the Baroness with a couple of scissors and then a few painful leg holds. After putting her in an airplane spin, she drops her and hits her with a leg drop across the chest. The Queen hooks The Baroness' legs and counts to three for a pin.
The Queen gets up, hands on her hips, looks down at the moaning Baroness and says, "You're wrestling's not too good either, blondie. Is there anything you can do well?"
The Baroness gets up and again tries to attack.
"I'm best of all at kick boxing," The Baroness says.
A tired and dazed Baroness goes after the Queen with a series of punches and kicks, but fails to land a single blow. After she misses one punch and leaves her back exposed, The Queen smashes her in the kidneys as The Baroness grabs her back in pain.
"If you were trying to knock me out, let me show you what you should have done," The Queen says.
The Queen then pummels The Baroness' body with piston-like blows to the mid-section. She kicks her in both ribs and then hits her with 5 straight punches to the punches to the face. The Baroness is out on her feet with her hands down at her side.
"Now let me show you who has the better legs and tights," The Queen says just before she hits The Baroness with a kick to a face that knocks the German woman down and out.
Again Carol Ann plants her leg on The Baroness' chest, flexes her muscles and counts her out.
She then stands over the KO'd Woman, wipes her hands and says, "So much for Germany's best."
Then The Queen hears The Baroness' cell phone ring. She struts over, picks it up and says, "Hello …Why this Carol Ann, the Queen of Tights, and the woman who kicked the ass of your wife all over this fortress. She can't talk now, but you can visit her on weekends at the federal prison. Bye, bye, sweetie."
Carol Ann puts down the phone and walks back over to Helga, who is kneeling with her hands up begging for mercy.
"Please, Carol Ann, don't hurt me any more," she says.
Carol Ann proudly poses with her hands on her hips and says, "Well, if you want to surrender …"
Here Helga hits The Queen with a low blow to the crown jewels, followed by second punch and then a crotch grab. She then rises, pulls The Queen down by her hair and knees her in the face. Then she begins to pound her with punches and kicks and knocks her down. She then puts her in a few painful holds and then shouts out her superiority as she sits on The Queen's face and knocks her out.
Certain that she's won, she gets up and grabs the Queen's legs.
"Now to destroy these legs and tights once and for all with my unbreakable figure four. Helga then applies a figure four as the Queen groans. After 30 seconds, she releases the hold and says, "Let's see how those legs look now."
Picking up a leg, she sees no damage to the ruby red tights and says, "How could this be?"
"Easy, you cheating bitch," The Queen replies as she kicks away Helga and gets up, "you're not woman enough to rip my tights. C'mon blondie let's finish this."
"Gladly," Helga says as she charges at The Queen, but her attempts to hit The Queen are blocked and after the Queen avoids an uppercut she tears into Helga and batters her with unanswered blows. Helga goes down and The Queen hits her with a leg drop and then a layover leg lock chin lock to punish her.
The Queen then puts Helga in a Boston Crab and demands that she submit. Helga quickly taps out, saying "I give, I give. You're the better woman, Carol Ann."
The Queen then releases the hold and then looks down and laughs as she points out a run in Helga's tights. "As they say, dearie, one good run deserves another," The Queen says as she attacks Helga's legs and completely destroys her tights.
When she's done, The Queen says, "Besides you catfighting, your tights suck, too, bitch and it's time you showed the proper respect for the better woman and tights."
Helga then crawls over to The Queen and begins to kiss her tights and heels and says, "I give up Queen Carol Ann. You are the better. I'll never challenge you again."
The Queen then says, "Well that sounds sincere, but you still have some jail time ahead of you blondie and have all the damage I did to your legs it wouldn't be fair of me to make you so, so let me prepare for you for your trip."
Carol Ann then applies her finisher on Helga, wrapping her leg around the Baroness's neck and choking her out as she tells her, "You know, Broomhilda, I hate blonde hussies, but I really hate blonde German blonde hussies who think they can rule the world. Tough break for you, isn't it sweetie?"
When she's done, The Queen rises, picks up Helga, folds her over her shoulder and says, "Dumb Baroness, she should have know she's no match for a Queen, especially The Queen of Tights."
The Queen then turns and walks away with The Baroness draped over her shoulder, the camera goes off showing The Queen's back as she walk away with The Baroness' head and upper body hanging down.

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

A Fight Story

New fiction from a dear friend/fan/contender

FICTION, but based on two very real, very strong women

It was a fantasy I’d long harbored, so when the opportunity presented itself, I didn’t hesitate.
An ex-girlfriend and I were having dinner during one of her first visits back to town in a couple years. During the meal, I found a way to work the conversation around to how, when we were together, we used to wrestle and box.
I reminded Annie (not her real name) how at first I’d thought I’d have to let her win, so she wouldn’t become discouraged and quit. But, in fact, she beat me the first time we boxed — and every time after.
We’re the same height, 5’10”, and though I outweighed her, she was faster. She’d been a competitive swimmer in school, and was proud of her long, powerful legs.
After we’d started our own domestic bouts, she’d taken up some light weight lifting to increase her upper body strength, too.
Over time, Annie got even better. Soon she’d developed a mean left jab, and she wasn’t afraid to punch me — and hard. Most of our fights ended with me flat out on the carpet, unable to continue.
She became pretty cocky, too. Our last fight, before she moved out of state, was a massacre: Before we began, she’d struck a sort of body builder’s pose, showing off her muscles and leaving me speechless. Then she asked, “Are you ready?”
In a flash, Annie then pounded me with a half-dozen punches to the head and belly that left me dazed. She proceeded to smash me senseless, finishing me off with a hard right cross to the jaw.
I was out before I hit the floor.
Talking about these fights during our dinner, I then mentioned I knew this woman here in Michigan who was an excellent boxer, Sybil Starr. In fact, Sybil and I had fought several times, always with her winning decisively, and she’d knocked me out at least twice.
Actually, I continued, Sybil was pretty great in any physical competition we’d tried — she’d beaten me when we wrestled, and easily, and in arm wrestling. In fact, she’d even brought me to my knees in a test of strength. She was unbeatable, I figured.
So would Annie be willing to go a few rounds with Sybil, I asked with as much innocence as I could fake. To my delight Annie, rarely one to resist a challenge, agreed.
What she didn’t know was I’d already made arrangements with Sybil for a match the very next day.
Here’s how I handicapped this battle, having fought each of these gorgeous women. Annie was several inches taller, broad-shouldered, had a longer reach and probably was stronger. She could really hit.
But Sybil was younger and faster, and far more experienced and skilled. And pretty tough herself.
Annie’s punching abilities were powerful but rudimentary; Sybil’s were surgical and precise.
It seemed to me Sybil had the odds in her favor.
So the next day the three of us met at the home of a friend of Sybil’s who had a ring set-up. The two women changed into very fetching bikinis — Sybil in blue-and-white stripes, Annie in black.
They climbed into the ring and, as they put on the regulation boxing gloves, I could tell they were sizing each other up.
“So I hear you can hit pretty hard,” Sybil said, smiling.
“I can probably knock a slender little girl like you out of the ring,” Annie replied.
“Oh, yeah? We’ll just see who ends up teaching the other a lesson.”
Sybil, no longer smiling, lifted her gloved fists. Annie did the same.
“OK,” I said, “if you’re both ready, the rules are you fight until one of you surrenders.”
“Fine by me,” said Annie, who without warning smashed her right fist deep into Sybil’s belly!
Sybil, caught off guard, tried to cover up, but Annie punched her in the belly again! And again!
Then a left, right to the head! Sybil dropped to her hands and knees.
“Not so talkative now, are you?” Annie said, standing over her opponent.
“OK, if you want it like that,” the redhead replied, getting to her feet.
Sybil, a picture of speed, skill and beauty, launched into the taller woman, punching her mouth, chin, jaw and belly repeatedly. Annie was unable to protect herself.
Three more fast punches to Annie’s muscled midsection — wham, wham, wham! — and my ex- collapsed to the mat with a crash.
“Get up, if you’re so tough,” Sybil commanded.
At that point, I figured this was going to be a quick bout. Surely Annie would realize Sybil was a far superior fighter and would concede.
But to my surprise and delight, Annie got up.
“One knock-down each. I’m going to knock you out,” Annie said, lifting her fists.
“You can try,” Sybil laughed.
She then pounded Annie in the belly — 1, 2, 3, 4! Her victim sunk to her knees, moaning.
“What were you saying about who was going to knock me out?” Sybil asked with wicked smile.
Annie slowly stood. Sybil bashed her across the jaw with a mighty right cross. As if in slow motion, the dark-haired woman fell backward onto the canvas — arms spread eagle as if shot.
Sybil lifted her arms over her head — “That was too easy.”
I climbed into the ring and asked Annie if she’d had enough.
Again to my surprise — and joy, as I didn’t want this fight to end quickly — Annie struggled to get up.
“I’ll show her who’s stronger,” she swore.
“You want more?” Sybil taunted, as the two faced off again.
Sybil punched Annie in the belly, chin, jaw, cheek, jaw! What a beating! She muscled Annie, now bleeding from her lower lip, against the ropes, then hammered her right fist into her opponent’s midsection — 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6!
Annie fell face down on the canvas. Sybil strutted around the ring — “Now what do you have to say? Do you give?”
Slowly Annie pushed herself up. “I’m going to beat you senseless for this,” she muttered.
My ex- stood and again lifted her gloved fists.
“OK, you asked for this,” Sybil sighed as she approached.
But as she got close, Annie smashed her right into the redhead’s unprotected belly — wham! “Ufff!”
Again! Again! Then her left, right, left, right, right! Sybil dropped as if shot.
“You’re going to beg me to stop,” Annie practically yelled, lifting her arms and flexing her impressive biceps.
Sybil stood, and the taller woman laid into her, slamming her hard fists into Sybil’s head and gut — over and over! A final right cross to the jaw set the smaller female sprawling across the ring.
Sybil got to her hands and knees, but Annie kicked her in the ribs, sending her to the corner.
Clearly in pain, Sybil started to pull herself up on the ropes. Annie wrapped her arms around the redhead and tugged her to her feet. She then draped Sybil’s arms over the top rope, and punched her — hard — in her exposed belly! Wham! Wham! Wham! Wham!
A left to the jaw, a right to the mouth, two left jabs directly to the face.
“Beg me to stop,” Annie demanded. “Then I’ll KO you to finish this.”
“No,” Sybil said, barely able to catch her breath.
“Fine by me,” Annie replied with a cruel smile, and began hammering Sybil’s midsection with alternating lefts and rights.
It seemed this fight wasn’t going to end as I expected, that Annie had taken everything Sybil had to give but still would triumph. She was just too strong.
Still Annie pummeled her seemingly beaten victim’s belly. Then, a killer right to the jaw — pow! — and Sybil clattered to the mat.
Annie put her foot on her downed opponent’s back and lifted her gloved fists — “I win!” Annie wanted to make sure I was looking at her, at her toned body.
But, still, Sybil wasn’t quitting. She struggled to stand, and Annie removed her foot.
“You’re really, really going to be sorry if you get up,” Annie laughed.
Using the ropes, Sybil pulled herself to her feet.
“We’ll see about that,” Sybil responded, lifting her fists.
The two powerful, good-looking women circle. Annie punched Sybil’s mouth with her fast left jabs — 1, 2! 1, 2! 1, 2! Then a right to the jaw —bam!
Sybil staggered back from the blows. Annie laughed in delight as she closed in.
But Sybil still had her speed. She smashed her right into Annie’s tough abs – wham!
“I barely felt that, you’re so weak,” Annie laughed.
“Yeah? How about this?” Sybil spat back, pounding Annie’s belly again — wham! Again! And again!
Annie tried to cover up, but Sybil was too quick: a left-right to the jaw, a left to the head, another, a right to the jaw! Then lefts and rights to her midsection!
Annie tried to retreat, but Sybil was on her all the way, punching her mercilessly. Another right to the jaw and Annie collapsed.
“Oh, no, we’re not done,” Sybil promised.
Annie tried to get up, and Sybil tugged her to her feet. She punched the taller female repeatedly, eventually hammering her back against the ropes.
“No, stop,” Annie begged. “I give.”
“What? I can’t hear you!” Sybil answered, still pounding the woman as if she were a punching bag.
“Stop, you win ….”
Sybil paused, fists still raised threateningly: “Who’s the winner?”
“You are,” Annie said, her voice barely audible.
“Who’s stronger? Say it,” Sybil continued, lifting her fists and flexing her biceps for her beaten opponent’s benefit.
“You’re stronger than me. Just don’t hit me anymore,” Annie said.
Sybil slammed her right into Annie’s unprotected belly — wham!
“That’s for kicking me,” Sybil said.
Bam! A left to the same place.
“And that’s for thinking you could stand up to me, ever,” the redhead added.
Sybil then cocked back fist and — bam, bam, bam! — punched Annie in the mouth three times in a row. The taller woman staggered, then fell face down.
Down and out!
It was a great fight, and Sybil won by a knockout. The victor then planted her foot on her defeated foe’s back.
Sybil looked over at me, grinning ear to ear.
“Did you have a camera?”