if we are talking about private matches, we (my opponent and I) have agreed to the use of knock outs before hand and gone over safety rules. . otherwise, when I have a private match with someone I am very respectful of their boundaries. . if they tap while in a hold I let go of the hold . . I count on my opponents to keep themselves safe, but if I feel they can't do so, or don't realize I am about to break their arm, leg, etc I will let go of the hold myself to keep them safe. . safety is more important in my private matches than winning ;as most of my opponents are rank amateurs who don't really know what they are doing and could hurt me or themselves with their lack of knowledge. . . .. .