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Monday, November 22, 2010

An Actual Blog. . . what has gotten in to me today?

I don't know where to start or what to say really, but feel this need burgeoning inside of me. . a way to express the truly inexpressible. . . blessings and light, and the untimely darkness. . where to begin. . . hmm. .

I guess I will begin where I sit. . . in my living room, "working." Which consists of uploading content to websites, sending updates to my media producer, answering my correspondence and thinking about the future of this fantasy fight company that I run. .my dog Kiki (part chihuahua, part rat terrier) cuddles up next to me. . outside there is a warm fall rain falling and playing havoc with my aches & joints through out my body. . I feel the old foot sprain acting up as I walk. .

Have you ever felt passion? Strong enthusiasm for your life and the projects you have at hand? I am a martial artist. It is what I was born to be. . my life feels right when I am training and growing as a fighter. . . I am not lost or unable to see my path. . I am passionate about fighting. . I am passionate about creating. .
"work" isn't work when I am doing those things.. .

Things I have learned or "relearned" as of late
1-life is not fair, but it is just
2-computers can't treat people like people and neither can the giant industries that employ them
3-I don't know enough yet to get what I want. . there is always more to learn
4-I have learned that limit setting for people happens in every relationship at every age.
5-I have learned that I am far from perfect but still quite worthy. .
6-There are never enough hours in a day. . .
7-People are going to let you down
8-People will surprise you
9-when you work for yourself you have to remember to give yourself a day off now and then
10-You can't be everything to everyone and you can't help anyone who doesn't want to be helped
11-To be a leader, be someone worthy of following. .
12-Live in this moment. . not the next or the last
13-There but by the grace of God goes I

This has been one of my hardest years as of late. . sustaining a bad injury, recovering and finding myself again have been quite a journey, looking at who I am, what I want, and who I want to be.

I want to:
leave a legacy
be a trailblazer
be someone worthy of all this attention, I want to be the very best that I can be. . . .

There is poetry dancing in my heart today as I seek the next turn in my path. . .
xo
Sybil

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